Press 9 to Cancel app analytics for September 19

Your cable company would love to keep you. Forever. Corecast is a fictional cable provider whose website was built by people who do not want you to go. Press 9 to Cancel is a puzzle game about escaping it: twenty levels of the interface tricks you have met in real life, arranged into one very long afternoon. Nothing here is real. Corecast does not exist, there is no subscription. WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DO Find the cancel button. That is the whole game. It is under a menu called "Advanced Comfort". It is below a fold that keeps moving. It is behind a chatbot named Buddy, who is very sorry you feel that way. It is greyed out until you accept the fine print, and the fine print reveals its rules one at a time, and each rule appears only after you have broken it. YOUR PATIENCE IS THE SCORE A meter at the top of the screen tracks how much patience you have left. Fall for a trap and it drops. Reach zero and the game does not end your run — it hands you a Calming Survey, which is itself a set of irritating questions. Corecast never lets you lose. It just makes you stay. WHAT IS IN IT - 20 levels, plus a prologue and a bonus level - Dark patterns taken from real interfaces: roach motels, confirmshaming, misdirection, buttons that swap places while you reach for them - Penalty quests you cannot skip: forced breathing breaks, mandatory feedback forms with rules, preferences that repair themselves - 8 trophies for specific acts of stubbornness - New Game+, for anyone who found the first run reasonable - A record of every run: taps, wrong buttons, time served - English and Russian NO, REALLY No in-app purchases. No ads. No account. No tracking. No data collected. Works entirely offline. There is nothing here to cancel except the fake thing. Press 9 to Cancel is a comedy about a real problem.