Are You Dead? - Still Alive? app analytics for January 22

The App for the Existentially Anxious Life is loud. Social media is exhausting. Welcome to a "Minimalist Social" where silence is the message. No scrolling. No fake stories. Just one tap to let your circle know: "I'm still here." FEATURES WE HOPE YOU NEVER NEED: - The "Not Today, Satan" Button: One tap every morning. That's it. It’s the easiest win of your day. Congrats on waking up! - The "Ghost Protocol" (Guardian Circle): Add up to 10 friends. Proactively peek at their status to ensure they're still kicking, or wait for us to alert you if they go silent. It’s mutual monitoring for the chronically anxious. - The "Post-Mortem Paperwork" (Auto-Emails): If your silence becomes final, the emails go out. We’ll automatically blast your emergency contacts with your last instructions, secret confessions, or just the Wi-Fi password. - The Passive-Aggressive Nudge: The digital equivalent of poking a stick at a friend to see if they move. WHO IS THIS FOR? * Introverts who want people to care, but from a distance. * Over-protective besties who need to know their crew is still breathing. * Solo adventurers (or people who just trip over rugs a lot). * Anyone who wants to leave a legacy of "Responsible Adulting." Download now. Because your plants can't call 911.